In this group, we work on many activities that can help students learn more about themselves and other people.

Why is this important? When students understand more about their feelings, the feelings of other people and how they get along with other people, life becomes much easier and more fun.

Vocabulary:

School Smarts – The type of smarts in our brains that we use for school learning. Things like math smarts, computer smarts, music smarts, science smarts, and many more.

Social Smarts – The type of smarts in our brains that we use whenever we are around other people. Social smarts help our brains to know that others are having thoughts about us and we are having thoughts about them. We use social smarts in school, at home and EVERYWHERE!

Being Part of the Group:

Body in the Group – Your body is in the group if others feel you are part of the group. For example when you are standing, this means keeping your body about one arm’s length away from others. The front of your body will be turned towards others in the group.

Brain in the Group – Your brain is in the group when others feel that you are paying attention to what is happening in the group. For example, when you are thinking about others with your eyes and listening to what they are talking about.

Thinking with Our Eyes – This means that you are using your eyes to look at a person and it makes them feel that you are thinking about what they are saying or doing.

Expected Behavior –These are things we do and say that give people good thoughts about us and make them feel good too. Doing what is expected is different based on where we are and who we are with.

Unexpected Behavior – These are things we do and say that give people weird or odd thoughts about us and make them feel icky or mad or bad. Doing what is unexpected is different based on where we are and who we are with (different situations

Good (okay or normal) Thoughts – Others have thoughts about us based on what we do and say. When a person has a good thought (normal thought) about us, it means that we figured out how to act in that place with that person. When others have good thoughts about us, they feel good too and may remember how we make them feel.

Weird (odd) Thoughts – Others can also have weird thoughts about us based on what we do and say. When a person has a weird or odd thought about us, it means that we didn’t figure out how to act in that place with that person. When others have weird thoughts about us, they don’t feel good about us and may remember how we make them feel.

Social Detective – Every one of us is a Social Detective. We are good Social Detectives when we use our eyes, ears and brains to figure out what others are planning to do next or are presently doing and what they mean by what they say and do.

Social Detectives – Use their eyes and ears along with what they know in their brains to figure out what is expected and even what may happen next

With Our Eyes: We can figure out what people might be feeling, thinking, or planning to do next.

With Our Ears: We can figure out what people might be feeling, thinking, or planning to do next.

If we mix the thoughts we’ve collected from our eyes and our ears and run them through our brain – We can figure out how to behave in all different places!

Smart Guess – This is when we use all of our tools – remembering, seeing, hearing, knowing and feeling – to figure things out and then make a guess based on what we know about the world. Smart guesses are “expected” and make others have good thoughts about us because they know we are tying to figure things out.

Wacky Guess – This is when we forget or just don’t use our tools (remembering, seeing, hearing, knowing and feeling) to figure things out. Instead we just make a random guess without having any information. Teachers do not expect us to make “wacky guesses” in class or with our assignments. Wacky guesses are “unexpected” and make others have weird thoughts.

Social Detective Tools – We all have social detective tools that we can use all of the time to help us figure out people and places. These super important tools are: Eyes and Ears and Brains and, of course, understanding the feelings of others.

Social Thinker – Each of us is a “social thinker” every day, each time we are around other people. It means we are always aware that people are around us and having thoughts about each of our behaviors. We are social thinkers; even then people are not talking to or playing with us. All of us should be social thinkers each day in the classroom. We can do this by being patient when someone else takes a turn or gives the same answer we were thinking about. Social thinkers know that we often share the same thought in a classroom when the teacher is teaching. Learning to become a better social thinker is what every person does their whole life!

It starts by working to build that part in our brain called social smarts area. We can make that part of our brain get bigger by using the Social Detective tools. The more we practice, the better our social smarts grow….and then we can be an expert Social Thinker!

Rules for being part of the group when things don’t turn out the way you want:

o When things don’t turn out the way we want, we all feel any number of emotions which might include: feeling frustrated, annoyed, mad, sad, disappointed, stressed, furious…etc….

o Even when we feel one of these ways, other members of the group still EXPECT certain behaviors from us

Behaviors that are EXPECTED even if you are upset include:

o A sad face

o Words of disappointment like “darn” or “shoot” or “bummer”

o A steady voice that is not loud

o Asking to take a quick break

o You may get a chance to explain why you feel upset. At other times there is no need to explain; it is just what you have to put up with. For example: if someone else gets to go first, you do not need to explain why you are upset. However, if you lose your favorite pencil, you may need to explain this because no one knows why you are sad.

**When you do EXPECTED behaviors even when you are sad or upset, other people stay calm and are more willing to help you.

Behaviors that are UNEXPECTED even if you are upset:

o Angry face

o Yelling out your thoughts about why you are mad

o Telling people how much you hate them

o Big gestures showing people that your body is going out of control

o Running away or hiding

o Refusing to do any more work

o Insisting things have to go your way

o Hitting

o Saying bad words

**When you do these UNEXPECTED behaviors it makes other people feel angry or sad themselves. When they feel this way it is hard for them to treat you well during that time.

We know things are not going to go well every day, so each day we get to practice trying to keep our behaviors doing what others expect so other people can continue to work with us and help us